Monday, 25 November 2013

Not ready for December!

Wow it is the last Monday in November....Where the heck did the rest of the month go!!! It is scary to think that December is really creeping up on us and before we know it Christmas will be over and we will be ringing in 2014!

Personally I find the weeks usually fly by anyhow, but when you are looking forward to something sometimes it feels like you are so focused on the goal that you forget to enjoy the time in between. Maybe that is just me. I am just so excited looking forward to March and meeting this little mystery baby that I keep forgetting to stop and smell the roses along the way. 

Part of the problem as well is that this will be the 1st Christmas without my Dad and for as much as i really love celebrating Christmas I just want to skip over it this year. Ever since I was about 5 my Dad and I would have a special Christmas shopping day, just the two of us. We would go to the mall he would buy me the prettiest dress we could find, do some shopping for Mom, have lunch and then see a movie. Although I spent a lot of time with my Dad and we did go shopping other times it was the best day of the year for me. We continued on that tradition every year until this past December. Starting in grade 11 we also attended the annual father-daughter festival of tree's supper and kept up that tradition as well until it got to be the same thing year after year. So we decided to still get dressed up and go out for supper just the two of us, but at a restaurant of our choosing. Last year we didn't go out for supper as my Dad was pretty stressed out awaiting biopsy results that he was sure were going to be cancer. Our shopping day was also cut short as he just had too many thing on his mind. He told me he would make it up to me next year, but he didn't live long enough for that to happen. So you can understand why I would rather December go by as quickly as possible.

You know your Dad is going to pass away some day, I just always thought I would be in my 60's when that happened with children and grandchildren of my own. It never occurred to me it would happen when I was 32 and pregnant with my first child.

Okay this is not where I planed this post to go at all, but I must have needed to get that out and now it is out and I can move on. Thanks for listening and I promise my other posts this week will be much more positive!

6 comments:

  1. it will be a tough Christmas....but you have so many wonderful memories! Not everyone is so lucky.

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  2. I know where you are coming from. Keep the happy thoughts of days past. And the excitement yet to come. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  3. I've been thinking about you as I know this is a tough season for you. It has always sounded like you and your dad had a precious relationship.

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  4. I think going through all the "firsts" after losing someone special is always tough, but at least you do have another someone special to look forward to meeting in a few months.

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  5. I lost my Dad Jan 2011, he waited till the holidays were over, it seemed. Damned that cancer! No matter how young or old we are, they are still our daddies. It will be a bittersweet time for you, just let whatever emotions come, it's all normal and part of the process.

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  6. Xmas has been and gone but I'm only just catching up now after my long holiday.
    I understand exactly how you felt while writing this. I ignored the first xmas after Granny died and was in a massive funk for some time before and after, and I also wanted to ignore the first xmas after my little niece died. The first year full of first without's is the hardest. It does get easier after the first anniversary has passed.
    I hope you had a good xmas despite the sadness.
    And keep letting out what wants to come out. Keeping everything bottled up will only lead o stronger grief and depression. We're all here for whatever you need

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