Today is the one year anniversary since my Dad passed away. It still doesn’t seem real. Although I don’t catch myself dialing his cell phone number when I have good or bad news to share anymore. I still think “oh I gotta tell Dad” when important things happen and then have to remind myself he isn’t here anymore. As I have said before I don’t really let myself think about him being dead too much, it simply just hurts too much. It is one of the big reasons I have a hard time visiting his grave. I know what is going on a few feet below the surface and I just cannot deal with that.
At times, especially today I want to scream from the roof tops…I’M HEARTBROKEN, but it feels like when you lose someone so close to you, you have to be the strong one. It’s as though other people are allowed to grieve and cry, but if you do then it’s the ole… you got to get over it, it has been a year, things get better. Life never gets better, but it does move on. One day the hurt won’t be all-consuming, but it will never go away. Our lives will never be complete without him, but they will go on. To honour his memory we just have to live our lives to the fullest and enjoy life in only the way that he could.