Tuesday, 12 June 2012

A rant


Warning...this is a long rant that I just need to get out or I fear I would explode...so skip on to the next blog and tomorrow I will resume to rant free blogging :P

As many of you know back in December I started 2 quilting bees.  So what a quilting bee is? It is a group of 12 people who come together and make bocks for each other. Each month there is a host bee and she picks a block for the rest of us to make. We each have one month to make the block and mail it to the monthly host. Since I am just learning to quilt I decided that the bee would be about making beginner blocks.  I felt that if a newbie like me could figure out how to make them then so could everyone else. A friend of mine joined having never done any quilting before and is making some beautiful blocks. So that should show you how easy the blocks are.

The ladies in the groups have been funny, kind, beyond helpful and extremely understanding. I am privileged to have met them!

It’s been a fun journey and lately a difficult one. Up until now it has been smooth sailing. I felt bad about removing people from the group that were late. I had removed one lady back in February that was late and wouldn’t reply back to my e-mails. At that time I put into the rules that if you were late and didn’t communicate with me you would be removed. However after that I became a coward and would just send e-mails so some people who went from being a month late to 3 months to 5 months to 6. Also some of the blocks being received were not acceptable.

 So where do you draw the line. So I am ashamed to admit it, but I was stuck. I believed the e-mails and kept thinking okay they will be done soon, but they never were. I was really having trouble with this. It was eating away at me and in my thoughts all day and all night to the point that I was making myself sick over it. It was all I could think about and all I could talk about and my family said enough was enough.  It wasn’t fair to the rest of the group to have to wait 5 months to get their blocks or get blocks they could never use. My mom who is in the bee quite simply said do you want the whole group to be mad about not getting their blocks or do you want a couple of people who you have never met to be upset because, they not you have not held up their end. However, even after that I didn’t want to be the B*&$% and kick them out.  

Finally I decided that I needed to pull up my big girl panties and ask my hive mates for help. The decision was that after 6 months maybe it was time to part ways. So I sent out the removal e-mails. Ones reply was rather snippy and thought that we had not given her enough time to get the blocks done or tried to help her. I guess 6 months and comments on blogs and e-mails wasn’t enough? She has even taken to writing about me on her blog. The other person I don’t want to give up on....I am just too nice and she is nice too so I keep thinking it will work out...But again where do you draw the line. This is just a darn quilting bee right...lol

I haven’t replied to the snippy e-mail or blog post, but it has stung more than I would have liked it to and instead of bottling it all up I felt the need to write about it. Now it is out of my head and I can move on. I know that I am not the bad person for having to remove people. We all made the commitment to take part and submit blocks on time and what have ya and in being the bee keeper or bee mama it is my job to remove the parts of the hive that are not working.. So no more tears, no more second guessing.. life it too short right.

So there you go that is my rant. I in no way regret hosting a bee I still love it and have been amazed by the people willing to step in and help. I plan on hosting a few more next year and widening the we bee learning to a couple of new quilting genres.

Like I said I needed to gets this off my chest and out of my head and if anyone is still reading then congrats for reading though my complaining...LOL

17 comments:

  1. Like my mom always said “Don’t let them live rent free in your head” you did the right thing!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sorry to read you have had this difficulty with your bee. Things like this happen all the time. The next one will be better, you'll see. Don't give up on hosting or participating in another bee.

    ReplyDelete
  3. How very sad that you ran into people with such self centered attitudes! I also hate to ripple the water, but sometimes you don't have a choice.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You've so done the right thing, even at several months late. I would not respond to her rants or bad blogging. I would wager she has done this to others and they see right through her. I'm glad to read that you aren't letting a couple of bad apples ruin the fun for you in the future.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Since beginning to blog I have met so many nice people but I have also run into those who think "monthly" means send it whenever you want or not at all.....I hate confrontation so it is sometimes easier to just bury my head for a little while and see if it will work itself out but it usually never does until I take some sort of action. For whatever it is worth.....I am behind whatever decision you make.....whether it is to forget "Ms Snippy" or to give "Ms Nice One" a little more time. You will work it out. And feel free to rant whenever you need to......

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thank you for making sure the rules are being adhered to! I had wondered if everyone was getting their blocks as it seems like not 11 photos per month were being posted to the group. Being 4 or 5 months late in June really means they are not keeping their commitment. I'm not sure how they can say otherwise.

    I think one thing that encourages one to not get their blocks in on time is all the block posts about being late on bee obligations.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I am so sad to hear that this has been stressing you out. It's SO not worth it! You are an awesome bee host and I love being part of your Bee. If there is anything AT ALL I can do to make your job easier, you just let me know. And I stand behind any decision you make 100%.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I keep picturing the sound of an angry and frustrated bee that is held under a glass jar. :/

    ReplyDelete
  9. It's terrible that people sign up for things and don't honor their commitment. Unfortunately it happens a lot. I even gave a nonsender/nonreplier in one swap a second chance in another. No surprise that she didn't send again. I hate that you were so upset about the whole thing. If you need anyone to fill in let me know.

    ReplyDelete
  10. It's terrible that people sign up for things and don't honor their commitment. Unfortunately it happens a lot. I even gave a nonsender/nonreplier in one swap a second chance in another. No surprise that she didn't send again. I hate that you were so upset about the whole thing. If you need anyone to fill in let me know.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I don't get why some people think rules aren't meant for them. Sorry you had to feel like a bad guy--you weren't. It was the fair thing to do.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Rules are rules. I agree with your mom, better to have one person upset (even though they don't deserve to be) than the rest. Stick to your guns and get those blocks done!! What fun it sounds like. I like a good rant every now and then. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I know it's tough sometimes, but they knew the rules, and you have obviously given these people every possible chance before removing them. I think you did the right thing, and this way you are being fair to those who do stick to the original plan, and to yourself. You're doing this for fun, you don't need people spoiling that.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I love this bee ... I love how the rules are clear, concise and easy to follow! And, I love that you make especial considerations when you are TOLD about them ... I think you are wonderful!! :) And, please keep me in mind for another BEEEE!! :)

    (I hosted a Circle Journal - we all shipped our scarpbooking books around the countries and got back a beautiful completed book from our "friends" .... well, 2 journals were lost thanks to one lady - and friendships were broken etc etc etc ... it was a disaster!! NEVER again will I host swaps!)

    ReplyDelete
  15. First off, I'm exactly the same - just need to vent sometimes so I can take a breath and move on. Go ahead, we're here for that too.

    Sorry to hear there's been some hiccups. And bad behaviour. Glad to hear it hasn't spoiled your fun. Too much. I like the idea of bees but not sure I'd ever be able to join in. I like my hobbies to be the one area in my life that completely revolves around me and "i want" :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. You did the right thing! I love the Bee and as a fellow Mama Bee I completely understand.... Hugs to you.. I also really like the comment above about an angry bee under the glass.. hahaha. Mad me giggle :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. I was sure sad to read this post! Is learning to be tougher on your path perhaps? So sorry...

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment! I enjoy reading all of them and I try my best to respond back asap via e-mail or on here :)